"Breaking the Yoke of Singleness"

There's this thing where preachers ask singles to come for prayers to "break d yoke of singleness", is that even Biblical? Is singleness a curse? Was Jesus not single? Was Paul not single? Did God not deliver Israel by Miriam whose marital status was irrelevant? Do they not understand I Cor. 7? Those evenings that Jesus spent visiting Lazarus his friend, surely, He could have spent one of them casting out the demon of "singleness" from Mary and Martha, two grown women living with their brother! There's no stigma to a child of God, single or married.

When will God's people recognize the freedom that Jesus paid so dearly to give us? When will we realize that Kingdom living frees us from our cultural bondage, fears and our caste system?

As in other things, singles must trust God, stay busy, & stay away from fearmongers who look for enemies where there are none. If God brings you a mate, praise Him. If not, don't spend whatever time He's given you chasing after another human being. Marriage is not the Pearl of Great Price. Jesus is.

He just might surprise you.

The Traditional Marriage Among Nigerian Christians

Before the British colonized nigeria, we had our own way of getting married. Regardless of the little details, it usually involved both families coming together, exchanging gifts, a bride price, and handing the bride over, amid great festivities, dancing eating and drinking.

Then the British came. The introduced the civil marriage, while recognizing our traditional marriages. They called it marriage by native law and custom.  Here's the wrinkle: People started converting to Christianity, and also wanted to get married "in the church" with all the attendant pomp and pageantry.

The traditional marriage was treated differently by different cultures. The Yorubas started calling it the "engagement".  They would meet as families, exchange gifts,  and hand over the bride to the the groom's family.  Some families stop here, get the marriage license at the Registry, and move right along with their married life.   In some case, after the festivities, the bride would go back to her parents' house, usually to wait for the church wedding before becoming Mrs. So and So.  Depending on how far away from the actual wedding this takes place, they could still break up, unless they have been married in the civil fashion. In that case, they need a divorce.

It is different among the Igbos. The traditional marriage is iron clad. It is taken very seriously. It is almost as binding as the old Jewish tradition which required a divorce for you to break up with your betrothed.  They still get the civil marriage license and often do the church wedding.

Here is the issue. When are you married? It is not so much a problem among the Yorubas who, for the most part, now treat their traditional marriage as a family get together. Among the Igbos, which one takes precedence?

What used to happen among the brethren when I was in the university is that they did the traditional marriage, but stayed apart until the wedding. The marriage would be consummated after the church event.

This is what seems to be happening now. The people get married the traditional way. They consummate.  Some start living together. Then they fix a church wedding date. They send out invitations inviting people to a wedding.

Some churches are saying, "no". You are already married. You can come for a blessing, but not a wedding. Some folks don't like that.

Can you get married twice without having divorced? If the first one was the marriage, what is the second one? If you are going to have a church wedding, should you consummate?  What do you think? Talk to me.

Violence at the Workplace

"Have you ever been slapped, kicked, shoved, or bitten by a patient? Have you had your hair, earring, or clothing pulled? Has a patient ever thrown something at you, knocked something out of your hands, or spit in your face? Has a relative used abusive language, sworn at you, or threatened you if you tried to enforce a hospital policy or did not comply with a demand?
If the answer to all of these questions is "no," consider yourself one of the lucky few nurses to have escaped verbal and physical abuse at the hands of patients, family members, or visitors in the course of your duties."

I know the article was discussing violence in the healthcare environment, but I also know that violence occurs in many other workplace environments.

Have you ever been assaulted at work?

Have you witnessed someone else been assaulted on the job?

Does your supervisor/employer have the right to verbally or physically abuse you?

Have you assaulted someone at work?

 Is there ever any justification for it?

Someone said to me, "Sometimes these employees are so dense, you need to yell at them to keep them moving."

I don't agree.  Do you?

Debut?

I was going to call this my debut. But it really isn't. I've had a few attempts at blogging, but always ended up taking them down. This blog title is actually a revived old one.

Why now? Because people asked me to. I know, I know, I sound like a politician..."my constituents asked me to run". It's nothing like that. One relative, one friend, and someone I haven't even met, all independently asked me to start a blog. So, here I am.

I am not sure about what I;ll say, but I think my children will be happy to hear that I have a place to put all those thoughts I bother them with.

It always starts with, "I was thinking...." and they know they're going to hear it whether or not they want to. I guess it means that now, you get to hear it too.

Even though this expresses my point of view, I want to hear yours too. In fact, I'd love to hear yours whether you agree or not. Just be civil.

Bola Awosika Oyeleye